PLOTLINE

The ice-planet Vinsk, in the year 2112. The all-new anti-viral handwash, Gemini, has been laced with Meme-Spawn: a sentient micro-organism which makes the user fluent in every language in the universe. However, manufacturer Zalnex made one crucial mistake. They didn't test Gemini on humans, who are seized by the violent urge to communicate but speak every language all at once - with a manic, garbled shriek - and pass on the virus by touch.

The Doctor and Amy arrive on an Earth-bound cargo-ship loaded with Gemini, where a human crew are succumbing to the virus which has nasty second and third phases in store.

When the Doctor and Amy are separated, they both know that it's only a matter of time before Amy is infected. With the ship locked on course, and no way of curing the sufferers, the Doctor is faced with a terrible decision: does he save Amy, or Earth?

Read by Meera Syal, written by Jason Arnopp.

COMMENT

With a less than impressive (well, less than good, to be more accurate) appearance as Dr. Nasreen Chaudhry in DOCTOR WHO SERIES 5’s THE HUNGRY EARTH and COLD BLOOD, there was impending dread once the CD tray effortlessly, silently closed. Surely, Meera Syal reading Jason Arnopp’s DOCTOR WHO – THE GEMINI CONTAGION would be an aural “car-crash”, painful to witness but you just have to get involved.

The Doctor (almost gleefully): There’ll bound to be a few bugs!

Within minutes, any apprehension was categorically (and shamefully) dispelled like an effervescent multi-vitamin tablet uncontrollably swirling in a glass of water. The reading – more like a one-woman performance – was a tour de force of precisely delineated characters given added depth and motive by Syal’s delivery. Impressive stuff.

Whilst her plausible interpretation of the Eleventh Doctor has a touch of the McGann, Syal’s soft Scottish lilt for Amy Pond is charmingly seductive which inspires me to pull on my sporran and give it a polish. You cannot beat a good polish. The incomprehensibly named Security Chief, Hank Mussellbrook is manifested as a burly, tattooed drag queen impersonating the comedy legend, Elaine Stritch, whilst Syal’s Korn Pallola is majestically tragic set against the overconfident Donald Trump inspired Zalnex CEO, Denton Vale.

Taking the written word and creating a substantial & believable character is craft, and a craft that, at times, has been lacking in these single disc TV tie-in unabridged audio (you can read eyeofhorus.org.uk’s reviews of previous releases here or use select from the drop-down list above this review). Whilst I have reservations with Arnopp’s plotline the characters are not the usual two-dimensional type that litter all too frequently the audio series. At times, THE GEMINI CONTAGION uses, to the same wonderfully glorious effect, the “The Robert Holmes Structure” whereby character double-acts are used (sparingly) for comic effect or as a major story driver. Here we have Zalnex cargo workers, Lorena Marks (Welsh) and Magnus (Liverpudlian), and Korn Palloa & her Personal Assistant, the enigmatically singular, Jim. Surprisingly, Arnopp’s sleight of hand is as creatively professional as that of the BBC WALES televised series.

"...pouring an ocean through a button-hole..."

I mentioned that I had “reservations” about the plotline and this is due to the similarities with SERIES 3’s episode, 42, and the uninspiring lethargy of the story’s denouement (the destruction of the cloned Meme-Spawn at the hand of their, for want of better phrase, “conceptor”). A race of space-inhabiting intelligent aliens (unwittingly) abused by a corporeal life-form with an ability to communicate through a carbon-based entity. For 42’s “Burn with me”, here we have “Listen to me” (and aurally rendered in an almost identical voice effect). And then there’s the Douglas Adams’ comparison to the Babel Fish life-form to consider, and episode of STAR TREK VOYAGER involving a microscopic creature (I think it even looked like a starfish) that infects the ship's crew after it had increased in size and veracity.

Albeit these minor quibbles, THE GEMINI CONTAGION (why was there a description of the Greek notation of Gemini if this was not important to the plotline? Odd line filler) is a release that has been enjoyed three times already, and that’s unusual considering the lack of spare time I tend to have. Catherine Tate’s THE NEMONITE INVASION is the only other NEW SERIES unabridged tie-in that has had such attention.

Often overlooked by critics but credit must be assigned to Simon Hunt for subtely confident incidental music (well, "music stings") and innovative sound effects. Restrained, his contribution is the ideal foil for both Syal's reading and Arnopp's script.

Guaranteed to not only make you think about our world’s resources that we exploit without a second thought or a care of its consequences and ultimate sacrifice that has to be paid should the unexpected exponentially escalate out of control but THE GEMINI CONTAGION is a perfect companion to the broadcast drama series in a way that, should its Head Writer, Steven Moffat crushes all his fingers in the car door and they need a script quickly then here it is.

Step up, Arnopp, it's time. "Single ticket to Cardiff, please!"